Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
