i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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