With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
