dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
