Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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