Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
