You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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