Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
