He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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