I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
