Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
