that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
