Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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