She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
