you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
