Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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