Kiss
Puke
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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