shes about as inviting as chlamydia
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
