Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
