fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
