ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
