If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't deserve a penis
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
