bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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