You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
