I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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