So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
