I am in a vortex of obligation.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
