I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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