But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
