what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize