As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
