3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
