Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize