After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
