And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize