We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
