walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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