Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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