I smell stomach acid.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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