she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
