Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize