OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
