is your mom at the bar?
My first STD was from a foam party
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
