Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
