evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
