I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Everything about him screamed your future.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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