Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize