so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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