I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
