sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize