Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
