I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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