I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Let's get the cat blown out
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
