i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
