nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
