I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
