why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
