Don't make out with my wife yet
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize