I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize