Me too!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
