i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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