I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
