He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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